Something’s Gotta’ Give, Right?
It’s a loaded question actually. We can’t expect something to give, until we’ve done some giving in the right direction.
When you’re sitting there, over broke, over worked and under rested; you may be thinking, “But, I give all the time. I give to my family, to my friends, to my work… how much do I have to give in order to get?”
That’s a valid question and I’ll take some time to answer that for you, right here, right now.
Let’s create a scenario.
You’re at work and you want a raise, more time off, perhaps some extra paid vacation days. You’ve been working there for a while and you feel you deserve it. So, you go to your boss and say, “I’ve done allot of extra work over the past few months, taken on extra shifts and have been doing extra work that isn’t part of my job. I need a raise.”
Your mind is saying, “I’ll do more to get more.”
But, what is actually happening is, you are creating more lack. Stick with me here!
When you give, in your job, in ORDER to get then, you’ve just canceled out the act of giving. You weren’t giving simply because it was the right and courteous thing to do, you were giving for self-gain. Meaning, it was attached to a negative act of selfishness.
Let’s flip this around.
You go to your boss and say, “Hey Joe, I noticed Adam is a little overloaded with work. Would it be alright if I give him a hand to help him out?”
This time, you give to give and Adam receives. But, your boss receives something totally different. He receives an insight into the ambitions and interests of a valuable employee. Someone who is willing to sacrifice some of himself, in order to help those he works with and the company. Immediately, in a split second, you became a VALUED employee focused on the good of the company, instead of the good of self.
This scenario carries more weight than simply doing a bunch of extra stuff, then asking for something in return. When you do extra stuff, tell you’re boss you would like to first. Tell him why it would be helpful to the other employees, clients/ customers and to the company. Then, receive his approval and ask for nothing in return (yet).
So, how does this translate to bettering your own life?
I mean, if you’re always giving (and you are already stretched thin) then how do you get?
It’s Starts with Selfishness!
Now hold on a minute there, we were just talking about being more selfless, now I’m telling you to be selfish?!
Actually, I call it selfless acts of selfishness. It’s when you work on you, to become a better you, for yourself and those around you.
Many people, including yourself at the moment, are such good people that you are continuously self-sacrificing for those around you. Well, I got news for you my little saint…
…there is only so much of you and your emotional capacity to go around before you are completely spent and not available for those around you.
If you want to create value for others, then you must continuously strive to make YOURSELF more valuable to others. Because, let’s get real, if you become less and less valuable due to neglecting your own needs and self, then; how much value could you possibly create for others.
It comes down to your feelings of self-worth, health, emotional well-being, appearance and expanding upon your current mental capacity, knowledge and skills.
You must work on you, each and every single day. Do something to make you better when your day starts. Do something to make you better when you are on your lunch break. Do something to make you better before you go to sleep at night. Little hacks to YOU starting, during and finishing your day will make you more valuable.
Most importantly, it will allow your mind and spiritual self to become aware of opportunities you didn’t even know existed.
Start your day with a big glass of fresh, clean water. Then, take just 15 – 30 minutes to exercise. Get that heart pumping and your lungs filling with fresh air. Then, spend 10 – 20 minutes within your own silence. Breathe deep, clear your mind and focus your thoughts on solving one problem you are currently facing. You may find, maybe even later in the day, you already possess the necessary knowledge to solve it.
After your you time, read, watch or listen to something that is enlightening, inspiring or up lifting to you. Find inspiration in a YouTube video, by reading part of a book, anything that focuses on lifting you up and getting you more excited.
Now, take a shower and make a healthy, light breakfast. Then brush your teeth and take care when you are putting your clothes on for work. Don’t allow a hair or thread to be out of place.
Take this approach for the next 30 days, EVERY DAY, and begin to see the transformation in yourself.
This approach to starting the first hour of your day will allow you to begin making yourself more vibrant, healthy, clear minded and, most importantly, more valuable to yourself and others.
THIS is Selfish Acts of Selflessness.
How Does this Present More Opportunity?
Opportunity presenting itself is, actually, a myth.
When you find yourself with a new opportunity or, moving in a better direction, that opportunity didn’t just magically appear. It came from a collection of actions and choices, that YOU consciously or unconsciously made, that made you aware of or allowed you to create that opportunity.
When you follow the actions I outlined above, you’ll find yourself being more aware of or inspired to create new opportunities.
Where most people fail in the acquisition of new opportunity is due to who you used to be and what you used to want.
Allow me to give you a little scientific insight. I don’t know the exact time it takes, let’s say over the span of 7-10 years, your body goes through a cycle of change. Old cells die and new cells are created to replace those expired ones. Information you take in and everyday life trials and achievements begin to cause you to create new, sometimes limiting, beliefs and emotional filters.
So, when you think about who you “were” and what you used to “want”, the YOU that you are currently thinking of actually doesn’t exist anymore, on a CELLULAR LEVEL!
The first time I realized this, it brought me down a bit. But, as I thought more about it, I realized it was a relief. We are not forced to stay inside of a framework that ourselves or others have created for us. We can chose to learn new skills on Udemy.com or YouTube, or go back to school.
If our job is making us unhealthy, unfulfilled (which is usually the case) or unrewarded, ask yourself, “When was the last time I looked for a new job, sent out some resumes and called in sick at my current job to go on an interview?
Because THAT, my friend, is how you become aware of or put yourself in a position to seize new opportunities and, like all energy (which is what an opportunity is, good or bad) they can neither be created nor destroyed, only ignored, unnoticed or acted upon.
Go back through and read again.
If it’s more money you want, find it or create it. But, first, write down EXACTLY why and EXACTLY how much you need to improve the quality of your life. Don’t round the number to big zeros or dream about winning the lottery, get very precise by figuring out how you want each and every day of your life to look like and what it will take to pay for that.
If it’s better health that you want, put the burger and beer down and pick up the V8 and grilled chicken. After only a few days, you’ll begin to feel much better, especially if you simply take a walk each night after dinner (doing dinner AND the walk with your family will be even more rewarding!).
If it’s more clarity and you can’t seem to get clear on your own, seek out consultation. It can be in the form of clergy, a parent, a professional peer or mentor. Just make sure the person you are seeking clarity from is at at a point of more clarity in their life than YOU are!
Success and well-being beget success and well-being just as, lack begets lack.
Chose where you are getting your information from, who you are speaking to, the people you surround yourself with. Most importantly, change what you say to yourself.
If you usually say, “I’m so fat, tired and broke.”, simply tell yourself, “I’m deciding to get in better shape, get more rest and find a way to improve and save in my finances.”
It’s simply tweaks that make the most extraordinary impact in your life.
I Love You
You must realize that this post is not something I spent my Saturday morning on because I thought there was some business or marketing angle to it, it’s because THIS is what my blog is for. When I feel the need or desire to reach out and help, this makes it simple to reach more people that I love, care about or simply understand their struggles.
My life isn’t perfect, there is always room for improvement. But, the most important thing I can do for myself, and for those I care about (including you) is to tell them and myself…
…”I LOVE you, I truly do.”
- Bob Yeager