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A Lesson, A Rant, A Necessity

Alright Fellas…YES, I’m speaking to the gentlemen out there; it’s time I get a little something off my chest. So, grab a beer and a healthy meat snack and sit in the man chair for a moment.

Recently, my wife and I were at a sporting goods store preparing to invest in the ultimate in hunting weaponry…the cross bow.

I have one, but every man needs to have a spare of any of his imperative tools. So, I called upon a few of the fellas in the store to give me a hand in selecting the perfect death machine for my hunting excursions. Here’s what happened.

A skinny little dude wearing hot pink track shoes and looking as if he puts more product in his hair than my grandmother comes round.

As I show him what is missing from the weapon I have chosen he asks, “What is that exactly?”

Uh…cross bow!

Then, as we were going through check out, yet another little man comes over and asks if I’d be interested in the discount they have on yoga apparel.

Sure, because this guy wearing cargo pants, purchasing a cross bow and a hunting license and sporting a Gears Nation t-shirt would want the yoga stuff.

Here’s the thing, if you’re a guy and you want to do yoga and wear pink track shoes, more power to ya. But, if you’re THAT guy and a guy purchasing $1K in hunting equipment walks in, sell him a knife, camping supplies and beef jerky. You’re commission is going to be higher and you’re not going to get the comment my wife gave as we were leaving the store…which was…

“Bob, where the hell have all the REAL men gone?”

Right here honey…right here 🙂

Seriously though, let’s turn this to marketing. Just because we work in sales, direct response and on computers, it doesn’t mean that we turn to juicing, yoga and MAN-icuring our man-ness away.

I’m regularly surprised when I hear my friends say they don’t have tools, know how to change the brakes on their car or are going to hire someone to install their washing machine.

Really fellas…two hoses and plug it in or screw on the gas line…geez.

What I’m getting at is this. When guys look for another guy to teach them something, they want a no bullshit guy who is a man’s man. When you walk into a business meeting, you should be able to be a confident, independent man who can get the job done. And…

…if you are wondering why you keep attracting controlling women who look down on you, then man up.

Now, this doesn’t mean to go all cave man and be a dick. I’m just saying, learn some man skills to become a better, stronger and more confident man for your business and for your life.

There I was, getting a hair cut with my son and this dude comes up to us and asks if we would be interested in high lights… :O

High lights? Of today’s football game? The National Trophy Hunting Competition? Nope…

… in our hair.

Hey, once again, if that’s your thing…go for it. But for the rest of you, STOP IT!

Now, a lot of folks are going to slam me for this and say, “Men don’t always have to know how to use tools, or fix things, or be all strong and wear “man” specific things.”

Ah…yes, yes they do!

I spent the day in the garage with one of my nephews and he shows up in a t-shirt, staring at his cell phone and wearing tennis shoes…

…TO DO BODY WORK ON A CAR WE ARE BUILDING!

Fellas!

Listen!

Get the right clothes, learn some skills, teach your kids how to properly shake a person’s hand and stop using body wash for God’s sakes and get a bar of soap!

Recently, a bunch of my computer geek, hacker, internet working, techno buddies asked me what I was up to and I said,

“Restoring the old truck, fabricating some metal, then I’m going hunting and I’m in the mood to do some survival training stuff.”

They all said they would love to buy a DVD to learn some of that stuff.

That…is…fine…but…

…years ago when you wanted to learn these things, you’d find someone who was super knowledgeable about it and apprentice for a few weeks with them. You can’t learn this stuff from DVDs and books. You gotta get your hands dirty.

Now, if you think this has nothing to do with marketing, then you are dead wrong. I’m watching copywriters and trainers market to people in multiple niches, attempting to attract some guys into their customer cults and the same things keep popping up.

“Bob, I’m getting people on board and selling stuff but it doesn’t seem like anyone is sticking to it.”

Well, that could because you want men who want to get into the survival niche, personal training or whatever and instead you are marketing to mister pink shoes at the sporting goods store!

It’s time to get back to learning to be a confident, strong and ethical man. Learn the principles and skill sets our fathers and grandfathers did. Apprentice with people in return for being their grunt for a few months. Treat women like ladies but, don’t expect them to do your frickin’ laundry!

Man up, get to work, sweat the workload and don’t sweat the small stuff.

You want a snack that will get your man juices going to get some work done…eat some meat and drink beer…and throw that damn blender away!

You want to feel healthy and strong? Go to a gym where there are free weights, boxing and the smell of sweat in the air.

You want to make more money in marketing? Put your head down, get to work and don’t look up or get up until the job is done!!!

And for all you ladies out there…you are doing just fine, but every once and a while give him a kick in the ass and remind him you married a man, not pink track shoe boy!

Rant over, don’t care if people see this as a chauvinist post. It’s not, it’s just time guys started being guys again and stop whining and prancing around like little cry babies.

Bring on the shit storm and talk soon 🙂

– Bob